Sony Pixel Power calrec Sony

Prison journalism: The silence of the hole is maddening

16/08/2023

Prison journalism: The silence of the hole is maddeningAfter six years in the hole, the mental exhaustion is unbearable. So is the need for human connection. A story shared by a prisoner in Pennsylvania.

by Prison Journalism Project

16-08-2023 17:16

in Prison Journalism

Solitary confinement in prison. Image by flickr.com

Prison Journalism Project trains incarcerated writers to become journalists and publishes their stories. Subscribe to Inside Story to receive exclusive behind-the-scene looks at our best stories, as well as author profiles and other insights.

--

Boom! Boom! Boom! I'm tired!

That noise startled me awake at 5 a.m. Five hours later, the sound continued. Sweat ran down my neck and soaked my shirt. I had been pacing for hours, and each time my neighbour banged on his door, desk or bunk, my adrenaline spiked.

Boom! Boom! Boom! I'm tired!

--

It was June 2012, two years into my incarceration, slightly more than six months after I was sentenced to serve eight to 20 years in a Pennsylvania prison. And only four months after I turned 20 years old.

I had been in the hole, or solitary confinement, for three days.

Boom! Boom! Boom! I'm tired!

--

Eventually my anger got the better of me, and I yelled into the vent: Well, lay down! I'm tired of hearing you!

After a brief silence, he said in a hoarse and barely audible voice: I'm sorry.

My anger dissipated. Now I was curious, and I asked my neighbor why he was banging. Rah-Rah - as he told me to call him - began to recount that he'd been in solitary for 13 years. He wasn't receiving treatment for his mental illnesses, which he said were only compounded by his circumstances.

There were 122,000 people locked in solitary confinement in the United States on any given day in 2019, according to a report by Solitary Watch and the Unlock the Box campaign. That number amounted to roughly 6% of the total U.S. prison and jail population during that time.

A prolonged stay in solitary confinement, which the United Nations has called a form of psychological torture, can often last longer than a month. People who spend time in solitary are at greater risk of experiencing adverse psychological, emotional and behavioural effects - and research has shown that the hole can shorten lives, even after release. About half of prison suicides are suffered by those in solitary confinement.

MY FRIEND RAH-RAH

Back then - when I heard Rah-Rah's cries for help - I didn't understand that my neighbor, like most human beings, just needed the mental and emotional stimulation that comes from social interaction. I didn't understand that our conversation through the air vent was an escape from years of isolation.

More than a decade later, I am six years into my own indefinite bout of solitary confinement. Sitting in this tiny cell, I have reflected a lot on that day talking to Rah-Rah. I don't know how I've kept my sanity.

Some days the silence becomes too loud. I'm tempted to bang, to make noise so loud it drowns out the deafening silence - not to disturb others, but to feel alive.

I understand now better than ever how my old neighbor felt. This mental exhaustion is more draining than any physical fatigue I've ever felt.

I'm tired!

Disclaimer: The views in this article are those of the author. Prison Journalism Project has verified the writer's identity and basic facts such as the names of institutions mentioned.

Written by Antoine Indy Walker for The Prison Journalism Project

Should you wish to assist in the rehabilitation of former inmates and help put money into the pockets of those who have struggled to earn a living during and after incarceration, click HERE

Do you have any question you would like to ask our prison journalists, WhatsApp us on 060 011 0211

Do you have contact with a prison inmate who would like to write for The South African website?

If so, send an email to info@thesouthafrican.com or a WhatsApp to 060 011 0211

You can also follow @TheSAnews on Twitter and The South African on Facebook to get the latest prisoner journalism articles.

Are you a true Smoke and Mirrors' soapie superfan? Take part in our quiz and WIN R1 000 in cash!
LINK: https://www.thesouthafrican.com/culture/prison-journalism/prison-journ...
See more stories from thesouthafrican

Most recent headlines

06/10/2025

France Tlvisions Wins Prestigious 2025 EBU Technology & Innovation Award in Groundbreaking Collaboration with Dalet

France T l visions, France's leading broadcaster, has received the 2025 EBU ...

04/09/2025

Monumental Sports & Entertainment and Dalet Win Prestigious 2025 NAB Show Project of the Year Award

Monumental Sports & Entertainment (MSE), in collaboration with Dalet, has been a...

28/06/2025

Press Release: NFVF Marks Youth Month by Empowering Future Creatives Through Film & TV Bursaries

Johannesburg, 27 June 2025 - As the nation commemorates Youth Month 2025, the N...

28/06/2025

FCC Chair Brendan Carr Promises Very, Very Busy, Productive Summer

WASHINGTON In a press conference following the Federal Communications Commission's May Open Meeting, Chair Brendan Carr promised the agency would move rapid...

28/06/2025

Spectrum Awards $1.1 Million in 2025 Spectrum Digital Education Grants

STAMFORD, Conn. Charter Communications has awarded $1.1 million in Spectrum Digital Education grants to 55 nonprofit organizations that work to expand access to...

28/06/2025

Sonnet Announces Echo 20 Thunderbolt 4 SuperDock Now Veri...

LAKE FOREST, Calif. June 19, 2025 What's New: Sonnet Technologies today announced the certification of its Echo 20 Thunderbolt 4 SuperDock as an Engin...

28/06/2025

IDC Names MASV One of Three Most Innovative Companies in...

MASV (massive.io), the fastest and most reliable large file transfer platform for media professionals, has been named an IDC Innovator in the IDC Innovators: Me...

28/06/2025

TV SKYLINE Expands Live Production Capabilities with Late...

Grass Valley today announced that TV SKYLINE GmbH, one of Europe's top mobile production providers, has expanded its camera inventory with 30 LDX 135 UHD/HD...

28/06/2025

AgileTV has been selected to develop and implement LIWEST...

AgileTV, a European leader in TV and video technology solutions, signed an agreement with Austrian telco LIWEST to develop and implement its TV service in Austr...

28/06/2025

Scaler 3.1 update from Scaler Music

Music theory plug-in updated Three months on from the release of the latest version of their renowned music theory plug in, Scaler Music have launched an up...

28/06/2025

The 48th Annual Indian National Finals Rodeo Shot with Blackmagic PYXIS 6K

The 48th Annual Indian National Finals Rodeo Shot with Blackmagic PYXIS 6K Brie Clayton June 27, 2025 0 Comments Filmmaker Cameron Mackey relied on Bl...

28/06/2025

Social, Streaming Don't Compete, They Compliment

Social, Streaming Don't Compete, They Compliment Andy Marken June 27, 2025 0 Comments I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spir...

28/06/2025

Blackmagic Design Captures Filipino Rock Band Drama Singtala

Blackmagic Design Captures Filipino Rock Band Drama Singtala Brie Clayton June 27, 2025 0 Comments Blackmagic URSA Mini Pro 12K and DaVinci Resolve St...

28/06/2025

Enhance Videos Faster with Aiarty Video Enhancer - Offline, Sharp, and Natural

Enhance Videos Faster with Aiarty Video Enhancer - Offline, Sharp, and Natural Brie Clayton June 27, 2025 0 Comments If you've used AI video tools...

27/06/2025

Give Me the Backstory: Get to Know Eva Victor, the Writer-Director Behind Sorry, Baby

By Jessica Herndon One of the most exciting things about the Sundance Film Fest...

27/06/2025

Spotify Launches K-Pop Performance Video Series . . . Next Up, TWS

K-Pop remains one of the biggest genres globally, and many fans just can't get enough of it. That's why Spotify has launched a new series of K-Pop perf...

27/06/2025

Family Cybersecurity CEO: Protecting Kids, Parents, and My Sanity From Scams

In our latest blog post, Rafael Rivera highlights the rising threat of online scams, and the important role cybersecurity plays in protecting families across ge...

27/06/2025

FCC Sets Comment Deadlines on Proposed Foreign Ownership Rules

WASHINGTON The Federal Communications Commission has set deadlines for comments to a notice of proposed rulemaking (NPRM) to codify certain foreign ownership re...

27/06/2025

FCC Chair Brendan Carr Promises Very, Very Busy, Productive Summer'

WASHINGTON In a press conference following the Federal Communications Commission's May Open Meeting, Chair Brendan Carr promised the agency would move rapid...

27/06/2025

Klevgrand introduce Walls reverb plug-in

From grounded realism to bending, impossible geometries Klevgrand have announced the release of a new algorithmic reverb plug-in which they say deconstruct...

27/06/2025

GIK Acoustics: Room EQ Wizard Tutorial

Learn to use REW for room analysis Acoustic treatment is one of the most important factors in any studio, and with the extensive range of products available...

27/06/2025

HDMI Forum Introduces v2.2 of the HDMI Specification

SAN JOSE, Calif. The HDMI Forum has released Version 2.2. of the HDMI Specification with 96Gbps bandwidth and next-gen HDMI Fixed Rate Link technology to provid...

27/06/2025

TV Skyline Expands Live Production Capabilities with Grass Valley Cameras

MONTREAL Grass Valley has announced that TV Skyline GmbH, one of Europe's top mobile production providers, has expanded its camera inventory with the acquis...

27/06/2025

Fubo Adds Weigel Broadcasting's Networks

NEW YORK & CHICAGO FuboTV Inc. and Weigel Broadcasting Co. have announced a multi-year agreement for distribution of seven networks including MeTV, H&I, Movies!...

27/06/2025

Americans' Favorite Pastime is Watching TV

NEW YORK A national survey of U.S. consumers shows 66% of us watch TV all or most of the time and also multitask while doing it....

27/06/2025

Sunbeam, Findal Media Ink Deal to Broadcast ABC Miami

MIAMI Sunbeam Television has reached a multiyear agreement with Findal Media & Technology Group to broadcast the new ABC Miami beginning Aug. 4....

27/06/2025

AccuWeather Signs Weather Data Deal with AI Search Provider Perplexity

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. AccuWeather has announced a deal with Perplexity, a AI-powered search and answer engine, that will bring AccuWeathers weather data and severe...

27/06/2025

New FCC Commissioner Olivia Trusty Announces Staff Appointments

WASHINGTON After being sworn in on June 23 as the Federal Communications Commission's newest Commissioner, Olivia Trusty has hit the ground running with the...

27/06/2025

FCC sets Deadlines for Comments on Proposed Foreign Ownership Rules

WASHINGTON The Federal Communications Commissions has set deadlines for comments to a Notice of Proposed Rulemaking (NPRM) to codify certain foreign ownership r...

27/06/2025

TAG Video Systems and Gencom Technology Forge Strategic P...

TAG Video Systems, the leader in software-based IP media probing, monitoring, visualization, and analytics, has announced a new collaboration with Gencom Techno...

27/06/2025

France-tv Streamlines Master Control Capabilities with PR...

Pixel Power (A Rohde & Schwarz Company) has recently been working with France T l visions, the French national public TV broadcaster, on a number of projects fo...

27/06/2025

DPA Microphones to Reveal Breakthroughs in RF Distributio...

DPA Microphones' U.S. team, a partner of Wisycom SRL, is hosting a free webinar focused on Wisycom's innovative RF distribution technology for wireless ...

27/06/2025

Avid delivers full integration of MediaCentral and Wolfte...

Avid today announced the release and immediate availability of its fully integrated, industry-leading news platform, uniting MediaCentral and Wolftech News in...

27/06/2025

PlayBox Neo Highlights Strategic Visibility at Key Indust...

PlayBox Neo is only half way through the year and has already experienced sustained demand for the company's wide range of smart media solutions, reporting ...

27/06/2025

Soundtheory release Kraftur Focus

Second edition of parallel clipper plug-in announced Soundtheory have announced the launch of Kraftur Focus, a new edition of their parallel clipper plug-in...

27/06/2025

Game, set, action! Screen Australia and ABC announce new mini-series Goolagong

27 06 2025 - Media release Game, set, action! Screen Australia and ABC announce new mini-series Goolagong Marton Csokas and Lila McGuire of Goolagong. Image c...

27/06/2025

How Two Berklee Alumni Landed Songs in the Oscar-Winning Film Anora

How Two Berklee Alumni Landed Songs in the Oscar-Winning Film Anora Joseph Capalbo BM '12 and Lyusi Simon BM '16 share how their collaboration spanned...

27/06/2025

How Smarter Video Compression is Creating a Sustainable Future

How smarter compression is creating a sustainable future By Michael Burns Monday, June 23, 2025 - 14:13 Print This Story Live sport is especially vulnerab...

27/06/2025

RTL Group To Acquire Sky Deutschland

RTL Group To Acquire Sky Deutschland By George Bevir, Editorial Director, SVG Europe Friday, June 27, 2025 - 8:00 am Print This Story | Subscribe Story ...

27/06/2025

Frictionless, At Scale: The Current State of Live Video Streaming Techology

Frictionless, At Scale: The Current State of Live Video Streaming Techology Leaders from Bitmovin, Comcast Technology Solutions, Harmonic, IMAX, and Phenix brea...

27/06/2025

Marquee Sports Network's Nick Steger on Meeting the Moment of the Contending Chicago Cubs

Marquee Sports Network's Nick Steger on Meeting the Moment of the Contending...

27/06/2025

NHL Draft 2025: The League Is Primed for First Decentralized Draft in Non-Pandemic Era

NHL Draft 2025: The League Is Primed for First Decentralized Draft in Non-Pandem...

27/06/2025

RTL Group to acquire Sky Deutschland

Friday 27 June 2025 Combination of RTL Deutschland and Sky Deutschland (Germany, Austria, Switzerland) to create a unique proposition in entertainment, sports ...

27/06/2025

Let the Final Games Begin With Squid Game' Season 3 Complete Coverage Guide

Back to All News Let the Final Games Begin With Squid Game' Season 3 Complete Coverage Guide Entertainment 27 June 2025 Global Link copied to clipboar...

27/06/2025

'Squid Game: Unleashed': Celebrate the Epic Series Finale With New Games, Characters and Rewards

Back to All News Squid Game: Unleashed: Celebrate the Epic Series Finale With N...

26/06/2025

Amrou Al-Kadhi's Layla Brings Audience to Its Knees

Louis Greatorex, Amrou Al-Kadhi and Bilal Hasana. (Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock for Sundance Film Festival) By Veronika Lee Claghorn The world premiere of Amr...

26/06/2025

Buckle up for Great Australian Road Trips launching 31 July on SBS and SBS On Demand

Buckle up for Great Australian Road Trips launching 31 July on SBS and SBS On De...

26/06/2025

Global Reach, Vertical Depth: MediaBridge Keeps the Wheels of Business Turning

Think of any major merger or acquisition in the media tech industry over the last 15 years and the odds are pretty good that MediaBridge Capital Advisors will h...